At first I was going to say, "Thank you for the Christine-as-Snow-white link, milord/milady/whatever you are! I haven't laughed so hard at a badfic in ages!"

Then I read the author's profile. I now need brain bleach. (I'm bisexual. Reading that stuff was pretty upsetting, among other things.)

The really scary thing? She's not twelve. She's twenty-four. She is five years older than I am.

Ponder that.