betweensunandmoon: (PotC)
In which Charlise meets the crew and sings a song.

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betweensunandmoon: (PotC)
In which Charlise steals a hat, the Cute Animal Friend shows up, and our heroes escape the soldiers.

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betweensunandmoon: (PotC)
Since my last sporking was kind of a failure, I bring you a significantly more Sue-ish PotC fic to try and make up for it.

Aria: As long as you're sure it's a Sue this time around, and not merely a flat character...

I'm sure, I'm sure.

Title: A Sirens Call

Author: CaptainCharliseSiren

Summary: Charlise Siren is no one. Atleast until she gets rescued from her hanging by a VERY notorious pirate. And she's up for an adventure of a lifetime.

Notes: The author's profile frightens me. That is all.
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betweensunandmoon: (PotC)
To save myself, Aria, and Naomi time and energy, I'm doing a report on Hope. The fic as a whole isn't bad enough to warrant a full-length sporking.

Report format shamelessly stolen from [ profile] heave_ho.

TITLE: Pirates of the Caribbean: Moonlight's Curse
CULPRIT: ArianaielNightstar
SUMMARY: COMPLETED. In this first installment of a series of 3, follow Hope Danforth, daughter of Port Royal's minister, on a journey that takes her to a future she never expected would happen. This is where the legacy of Hope Danforth began.
BEST LINE: "Gentlemen, maladies. You will always remember this as the day that you almost caught, Captain, Jack, Sparrow!" Jack said pushing Elizabeth into Norrington's waiting arms and almost toppling the others as Jack turned and hit a lever with his foot.

NAME: Hope Danforth
HAIR: Not described
EYES: Not described
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: Reverend William Danforth and his wife Isabelle.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS/AFFILIATIONS: Is Elizabeth's BFF, later befriends Will and convinces him to teach her to sword fight. Gets engaged to Gillette, but ends up falling in love with Jack and breaking off the engagement.
TRAGIC PAST: Her older sister was killed by pirates.

THE "PLOT": We open up with Isabelle giving birth to Hope, after which she instructs the midwife to tell everyone she died in childbirth, then runs off and abandons her family for no adequately explained reason. Hope receives a point in her favor for not using her mother's supposed death as an excuse to angst. Fast-forward thirteen years. Hope meets Elizabeth. Norrington proposes to Hope's older sister Catherine. Pirates attack Port Royal and kill Catherine. Will meets Hope and agrees to give her fencing lessons. Gillette proposes to Hope. The rest of the fic is your basic rehash of the first movie with an OC tagging along.

NOTES: The fic is more mediocre than bad, but the author has no idea how to use commas or attribute dialogue. At all.

Hope understandably hates pirates because they killed her sister, but she gets over that hatred awfully quickly once she, Jack, and Elizabeth get marooned on the island.

Hope is a newborn when Isabelle leaves, thirteen when she meets Elizabeth, fourteen when Catherine dies, fifteen when she meets Will, seventeen when she asks Will to teach her to fence, nineteen when Gillette proposes, and twenty-one when the events of the movie happen. That's far too many timeskips for my liking.

We meet an obviously creepy bit character, who sexually assaults the Sue just so Gillette can come to the rescue. )

Jack and the Sue enact a clich´┐Ż. )

Jack confesses his love to the Sue. )
betweensunandmoon: (PotC)
In which Hope meets Will, convinces him to teach her to swordfight, and...well, you'll see.

Warning: Chapter Four contains sexual assault.


DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything POTC related.
NOTE: Sorry that last chapter was so sad and depressing. I thought it necessary to accentuate that part of Hope's life to help the flow of the rest of the prequel, with Jack Sparrow's entrance and her attitude towards him in the beginning.

Aria: Something about that scares me.


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betweensunandmoon: (PotC)
Good grief, that's a long title.

In honor of PotC 5 (which I still haven't seen yet), I'm sporking this fic. Or rather, I'm making my OCs Aria and Naomi spork this fic.

Hey, ladies. Remember Gethsemane Butler?
Aria: I try not to. What about her?
Her stories are long gone off of, but her profile's still there...and with it, her favorites list.
Naomi: Oh, boy.
Most of them are from fandoms I don't know, but there were two PotC fics and one Phantom fic. This was the shortest of the three. The Sue is fairly inoffensive, but the prose and grammar suck. Shall we?
Aria: You say that like we have a choice.
Naomi: *elbows Aria* Sure!


Chapter One )

Next Chapter: A Life Started & A Future Ended

Aria: How do you end a future?
Naomi: Wait, the lights aren't coming back on. Does this mean we have to do another chapter?
Aria: I guess.

Warning: This chapter contains a death.

Chapter Two )

Next Chapter: The Art of Love

Naomi: I smell Sue-romance.
Aria: So do I, but that's for next chapter.
betweensunandmoon: (Default)
Indestructible - Introduction and Part I

Or, a multi-part meditation on Severus Snape, moral struggle, and love.

This looks bad already.

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betweensunandmoon: (PotC)
This author's note is not the worst I've ever read, but I refuse to leave any part of this fic unsporked, so here you go.


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betweensunandmoon: (PotC)
The final chapter, in which Erik has a flashback and decides to kidnap Christine.


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betweensunandmoon: (PotC)
In which Alana is the voice of reason, Erik murders a random crewman, Erik and Meg rescue Jack, the author bastardizes song lyrics, Erik and Christine finally meet face-to-face, and I write a spitefic.


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betweensunandmoon: (PotC)
In which Meg has a flashback, Jack finally shows up, and the author starts ripping off PotC left, right, and center.

The Persian sends his regards, but is unable to attend, as he is busy hunting Mary Sues.

*looks at sporkers* Are we ready?

*swings Punjab lasso*

*brandishes spork*

*hefts pistol*

I'll take that as a yes.


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betweensunandmoon: (Phantom)
More of this lousy crossover. The quality has not improved, so my OCs Jack and Harvey will help me spork this chapter.


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Apr. 10th, 2017 01:39 pm
betweensunandmoon: (PotC)
Today, I'm sporking the alleged prologue to a larger story, though it seems this is as far as the author got before abandoning the fic, since I can't find any more of it. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited. Why? Because this fic is by none other than Gethsemane Butler, a Suethor with two main claims to infamy. Number one: Her purple-prose-laden Suefics, all of which feature her self-insert hooking up with her canon lust object(s) of choice, writing out or killing off canon characters she doesn't like (usually her lust objects' canon love interests), and warping the main plot to revolve around her and her True Love. Number two: Her really creepy obsession with Gerard Butler, Johnny Depp, and Bill Nighy. Fandoms she has written in include Sweeney Todd, Pirates of the Caribbean, Labyrinth, Underworld, and Kingdom Hearts.

This fic, Rogue, is a companion to her PotC fic Heart of the Sea and its sequel Ghosts of the Abyss (the sporkings of which are here and here), though I can't tell if it's a prequel, a sequel, or something else. Our narrator is one Katherine Morgan, the Mary Sue of the hour. That's all I know, because there's no summary. My comments are in bold.


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betweensunandmoon: (Phantom)
Since this chapter is a particularly long abomination unto grammar, I'll try scripting it. I'm in bold, original text is in italics.


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betweensunandmoon: (Brighid)

Couldn't get this chapter out of my head or find a good place to break it into two chapters, so an extra-long chapter for you all (was six pages typed up!)



(Any corrections in red are mine.)

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betweensunandmoon: (Izanami)
Warning: This chapter contains forced kissing.

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betweensunandmoon: (Isis)
The Harry Potter fandom is home to some of the worst Mary Sues around, and this one is no exception. This fic may be short, but believe me, it is nasty.

Profile )
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I have good news and bad news. The good news is that the chapter is over. The bad news is that the next one is even WORSE. *sigh* See you next time, if you're brave enough.

Chapter 2
betweensunandmoon: (Phantom)
Previously on "Love Upon the Sea," Christine was replaced by a whiny Sue and nothing made sense.
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That concludes chapter two. Join us next time, where Christine has a symbolic dream and does something very weird.


betweensunandmoon: (Default)

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